Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I'm back, again

Ok.I'm trying to be more staight forward as i never did it before.After all these experience i had with a lot of amazing people, i think it's time to move on.At least it works for me.Not really actually.Sigh...
But it will be amazing to see a new me instead of the old me.S0, it really need a full strenght of mine to change myself to a better person.Even i hate myself sometimes.More than sometimes, i think.
Trying to be more relax, more gentle, less emo and lot sort of things that i think should never exist in a human being.Normal human being, literally.
Well, its 2.51 am and there's just to much problem had to be faces everyday though it was a resting period for me.Before start burdening myself back when i go to university in this June, maybe.
Huh.Sometimes i feel that i should not exist in this cold damn world.But it really took a lot of strength for me to get back on track and start kicking some asses.Yeah, after this long period.I'm searching for my soul.My true soul.And it ended with a full of surprised and joy.A bittersweet moments actually.And at last, i realize there is just no soul.There is just me and myself.
It hurts to be yourself.And the worst part is, it needs to hurt others first before you hurt yourself.It's mutual.
So, please friends and those people around me.Just forgive this useless bloody scum.It's my pleasure to be sworn or whatever it takes to make you, people relieved.
It's embarassing, actually.There's just too much space they'd gave to me, but....yeah, it just me.Just me.And myself.Frustrated.Really frustrated.With myself.Hope it'll change.But for now, it seems like hope is hope.It will always be hope.
Aaaaaahhh....Feels little much relieve.Hmmm...or maybe too little.....:((